"Do not appease your fellow man in the time of his anger; do not console him while his dead lies before him."
Even some things as commendable as apologizing for provoking someone to anger or trying to ease the sorrow of a mourner
can backfire. These actions are most worthy, but they must be done at the proper time.
In the heat of anger, a person may miss-hear things. You may be trying to explain yourself or express your regret for having
offended him, but all he hears is more provocation and may become angrier. Wait a bit. Let him calm down. Let his fury abate.
Your explanation or apology is much more likely to be accepted.
The same holds true for consolation. Intense emotions of any kind can result in selective or distorted hearing. The very
words that could be soothing later may be irritating when the pain of grief is acute. A person in sorrow may appreciate your
being with him so that he is not alone. Wait for him to begin the conversation. He may not wish to talk.
On the other hand, if you happen to be on the receiving end of an apology or consolation, be aware that your emotional
state may result in your misinterpreting the other person's good intentions. Do not jump to unwarranted conclusions.