Don't wait to
say I'm sorry
"Cease from anger and forsake wrath." Ps 37:8
"Don't let the sun go down on your wrath." Eph 4:26
So you had a disagreement
with someone, maybe an argument in which both of you said some uncomplimentary things, and now you are angry at each other.
After some time passes, you regret having offended him, but your pride does not let you apologize. After all, the other
person also made some nasty remarks, maybe even worse than yours. Let him apologize first, you say...
Unfortunately, the other person may be feeling exactly the same way, and if you both cling to your pride and
stand on ceremony, your relationship may be doomed forever.
Once we develop a negative or hostile attitude, it is not unusual for us to justify our feelings, so we begin
to look for more reasons why we should dislike that person, and before you know it, a few foolish comments may make us
hate one another. There is more than enough hatred in the world, and we certainly do not need to add to it.
The Rabbis tells us that when Aaron, the High Priest, would hear of two people who had become estranged,
he would say to one of them, "You know, your friend really feels badly about what he said to you. He desperately wants
to preserve the friendship, but he is so ashamed of what he said that he just can't muster the courage to approach you to
apologize. Next time you meet him, don't keep your distance, It will make it easier for him to apologize." Then
Aaron would go to the other party and tell him exactly the same thing. The next time the two met, each was convinced
that the other wished to apologize but could not assert himself, and they would try to facilitate the apology for the
other person. In no time, they would be friends again.
Was Aaron Lying?
Most people invariably regret having made insulting or hostile remarks in the heat of a dispute, and it is
a false pride that thwarts their desire to set things straight. If only some one or something could remove this barrier
and give them a face-saving way to apologize, they would gladly do so. Aaron did not lie, rather, he was able to
interpret people's feelings correctly, and provide the face-saving opportunity for each.
Unfortunately, there are not enough 'Aarons' around to remove the barriers to reconciliation, and false
pride results in unnecessary escalation of hard feelings between friends. So be an 'Aaron' and assume that the other
person truly regrets having said some foolish things. Be honest with yourself. Take the initiative in stretching
out the olive branch and be a 'peace maker' and you will be richly rewarded.
"Blessed are the peace makers."
